Love - Hate Relationship

How may times have you heard yourself or your friends stating about their true love and next month talking about how frustrated they are in relationship. To be very honest, i have never encountered any true love or accept someone unconditionally till this date. All of us dream of true love and everyone of us are imperfect in our own way , thats the uniqueness of each individual

The common view of love involves an element of receiving something, I love choclate really means that I enjoy getting the experience of the taste of choclate, similarly , " I love you" commonly implies " I enjoy believing that you will give me security and care me throughout life time". What is truly sought is something , we all experience painfully missing from life : some comfort sense of absolute belonging and acceptance. But in reality, we perceive relationship as the way we want more than considering our partner's interest,this feeling is sublimely lost when we become older and independent .

As shocking it may sound, most of us who claim to be loving are not giving selflessly. Instead , we are addressing a hidden psychological desire either to avoid being abandoned or to feel powerful. All of us want unconditional love but how many of us are ready to give unconditional acceptance, there is always the element of me...my wants, my desire...you cannot impose any restrictions on my freedom, this is the general essence of human nature.

 Love and hate are two close terms. Most of the couple , i have met are of Tom and jerry relationship, they can never stand each other but cannot be without each other. This reminds me of  Katharine Hepburn quote "Sometimes, I wonder if men and women really suit each other.Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then."

Love- Hate relationship is the most generic modern love realtionship as  every realtionship comes with its own terms and conditions .We generally fall into desparate desire, fatal attraction but one cannot fall into love as love is not a feeling , its sacrifice of sorts , and its sacrifice of all the illusions that our culture expects from us with a humble offering of understanding and compassion , something better than what others "see" in their blindness.

Hormones behind depression

All of us go through depression in some form or other, It can be emotional,financial or specific to one's own health. Depression is not a weakness. In fact, it is a very common emotional experience with a variety of triggers.I decided to do my little research on the scientific aspect of the cause and hormonal reaction behind  depression and mood swings.

Studies have shown that people suffering from depression have imbalances of neurotransmitters, natural substances that allow brain cells to communicate with one another. . Neurotransmitters are powerful chemicals that regulate numerous physical and emotional processes such as mental performance, emotional states and pain response.

A key neurotransmitter is serotonin hormone .However, low serotonin levels are simply another symptom of depression, not a cause. The more negative introspection you carry out, and the fewer pleasure-giving activities you participate in, the lower your serotonin levels become.

Among Men, Testosterone is an integral component of many of the body's functions. Low levels of this hormone may cause an overall sense of ill-being, known as hypogonadism. In fact, men with low levels of this vital hormone are 400% more likely to be diagnosed with depression. Low thyroid levels or hypothyroidism may also contribute to male  depression. This is due to the low levels of the thyroid hormone T3 which decreases serotonin (the "happy hormone"), an essential neurotransmitter for moods and behavior.

Some of the most common hormonal imbalances in men include:

• Andropause. Also known as the male menopause, andropause occurs as men grow older and their testosterone levels decline.
• Adrenal fatigue. If your stress levels remain high for a prolonged period of time, your adrenal gland can't produce enough of the stress hormone cortisol.
• Hypothyroidism. When your thyroid gland is underactive, it's not producing enough thyroid hormones.
• Hyperthyroidism. An overactive thyroid gland results in high levels of thyroid hormones and an increased metabolism.

Among Women, there are several hormones that play a part in depression. The relationships between hormones and depression in women include:

Estrogen: Boosts serotonin, which helps fight depression and promotes sleep. It also increases GABA, the calming neurotransmitter and raises endorphins, which help you feel good. Low estrogen levels often found in menopause can cause feelings of sadness and hopelessness.

Progesterone: This hormone helps to balance estrogen, it helps promote sleep and has a natural calming effect. It also normalizes libido, is a natural diuretic and a natural antidepressant. Abnormal levels of progesterone  cause insomnia and contribute to bad moods.

Cortisol: This stress hormone can cause depression if levels rise too high or fall to far below average. High levels of cortisol  can create agitation, increased belly fat, insomnia and sugar cravings. Low levels can be associated with inability to handle stress, extreme fatigue, low libido and mood instability.

Additional Contributors to Depression

Women with a history of mood disorders are pre-conditioned to experience hormonal depression during menopause. Surgical menopause, or a hysterectomy, also heightens the risk of developing depression because of the drastic, rather than gradual, drop in estrogen. Additional stressors like children, a high stress job, or handling tough relationship , also make menopause depression more likely in women. Stress is difficult enough for our bodies to handle, add to that hormone imbalances and drastic physical changes, and you have a recipe for disaster.

General cure, is to correct the imbalance in hormones and the ways to achieve it are following right diet, adding nutritional supplements and improving healthy life style

Diet

A healthy diet is one of the most important steps you can take to boost and maintain your body’s serotonin levels. To this end, there are two goals to keep in mind. First, avoid all unhealthy foods, such as “junk” or processed foods, simple carbohydrates, and sugar, and also eliminate alcoholic beverages from your diet. Second, be sure to regularly eat foods rich in the amino acid tryptophan, which your body converts to serotonin. Foods high in tryptophan include avocadoes, chicken, cottage cheese, dark chocolate, eggs, oats, pork, turkey, wheat germ, and wild oats. Try to include at least one tryptophan-rich food at every meal, choosing organic foods whenever possible.

Nutritional Supplements

Various nutrients can also help your body produce sufficient serotonin, although not in place of a healthy diet. Such nutrients include B vitamins (especially B1, B3, folic acid, niacin, pantothenic acid, and vitamin B12), calcium, and magnesium, all of which are usually found in a good multivitamin/mineral formula. Tryptophan and its precursor, 5-HTP (5-hydroxy tryptophan) can also be used, although both of these should ideally be taken under your doctor’s supervision.

Lifestyle

The most important lifestyle choice you can make when it comes to improving and maintaining serotonin levels is to get a good night’s sleep. For most people, this means going to bed before midnight and getting at least seven hours of relaxing sleep each night. If you have difficulty sleeping, talk with your doctor.

The second most important lifestyle choice is to exercise for 30 to 60 minutes at least three times a week. The best type of activity for this purpose is aerobic exercise, such as brisk walking, jogging, bicycling, swimming, or jumping on a mini-trampoline (rebounder).

DIVINE GOD

Is it possible to build a temple for the one who pervades the entire Cosmos? Can anyone give a name to the one who is present in all beings?Is it possible to give a bath to the one who is present in all rivers?
Man out of his ignorance attributes a particular form and offers his prayers,names and forms are transient. This world is sustained by the principle of love which is uniformly present in the five elements (Land,water,Fire,Air and Ether) without love,there is neither nature nor world. We can worship divinity in a number of ways,but all the worship will prove futile if there is no love in it.

The five elements are responsible for the sustenance of human life and the world at large.Everything will come to a standstill even if anyone of the 5 elements are missing.We hear the sound with our ears,we see the world with our eyes.In this manner ,we are able to experience the world through our five senses.Man has forgotten the divine and is striving to attain bliss through means of worldly pursuits.It is said "Jantunam nara janma durlabham" (Out of all beings,human birth is the rarest).Infact, human being is essentially divine.

Dharma, Artha,Kama and Moksha are prescribed as the four goals of human life.But, man today has givenup Dharma and Moksha.He is running after Artha and Kama.Some people argue " How can you say that God is present everywhere when we do not actually see him? How is it possible for him to hear our prayers? Infact, sound is the very form of god.There is no place,where there is no sound. Do not doubt or deny his existence just because he is not visible to the naked eye. The creation and the creator are one.

Jewels are many but gold is one
Cows are many but milk is one
Beings are many but breath is one

No one can describe God as having this form or that form.He permeates the entire universe. God responds according to your feelings towards him.Veda declares " Ekam Sath Viprah Bahudha Vadanti" ( Truth is one, but the wise refer to it by various names) When situation demands, divine incarnations appear on earth and play a role in cosmic drama.We may have difficulties today,but tomorrow it will be different. Difficulties are like passing clouds, they will certainly give way to happiness.If you are undergoing difficulties, do not get disheartened, have faith that whatever happens is for one's own good.Hapiness and sorrow co exist, one cannot attain happiness without undergoing difficulties.All the good and bad lies in our mind, they are not outside.Hence, it is important to correct the feelings in the first instance.When we perform our actions with divine feelings,they are sure to yield good results. Lets not criticize or deny the very presence of divine lord.   

Beautiful Soul

In life,we come across so many people but very few touch us .This post is dedicated to all those beautiful souls.Money,success and power has become three elements to define respect in the society. Let people be good or bad, beyond the judgement,each one of us either found or search for true friend ,true relationship who can be there for us during testing times,pain or even one ends up with nothing.

Personally, with god's grace, I am lucky to meet few good souls,this world still looks beautiful only because of them.How much ever one races in this rat race,everyone still ends up being a rat .I love the Indian Epics "Ramayana and Mahabharata", It depicts the duties of relationships, portraying ideal characters like the ideal father, ideal servant, the ideal brother, the ideal wife and the ideal king.Great epics teach us the way of life for every individual.What happens .....when you choose the path of right and wrong and where one ends up....Lot of good humans face so much of  obstacles in attaining even the very basic desire. I used to wonder,why god has to punish good people and make the criminal minded one's live in merry.

Well, thats the case even for Lords....Let it be Lord Ram,Seetha,Lakshmana,Hanuman in Ramayana or for the Pandavas in Mahabharata or Shirdi Sai Baba or Mahavira or Buddha or Jesus Christ or to all the holy saints who had visited earth to teach us humanity.When thats the case for Lords, then who am I to blame god. Life is not fair for everyone but end always leaves with a message,everything seems to have a reason behind it.

Its easy to say and write but to make the mind understand and accept the reality is little tough.I bow and salute to all the beautiful souls,the pain and the problems that you had and you are still going through is immense but dear heart,if you have chosen the right path,stick on to the same despite of all the gains or losses that you need to go through in this journey.Remember beautiful souls , you are truly god's children :)

Mahashivarathiri

Today is an auspicious day for all the believer's of Lord Shiva. Sanskrit word "Shiva"  means"auspicious, kind, gracious". He is the god of Yogis.Shiva is the most powerful god of the Hindu pantheon and one of the godhead's in the Hindu Trinity. The festival is called as "Mahashivarathiri", the Great Night of Shiva. Mahashivaratri falls on the 13th day of the dark half of Phalgun.Maha Shivaratri is traditionally celebrated with a series of elaborate pujas.

• Sanitization of the soul is represented by a bath given to the Shiva lingam with rose water, milk, honey and bilva leaves.
• Vermilion paste applied to the Shiv lingam is symbolic of a good feature.
• Offering of fruits made to the Shiv lingam represents long life and fulfillment of desires.
• Prosperity is produced by the burning of incense sticks.
• The lighting of the lamp means achievement of knowledge.
• Offering of Vilvam leaves portrays happiness

History behind Mahashivarathri 


The ritual culminates in the marriage of Shiva and Parvati (Shakti), which is symbolic union of consciousness and matter – the dance of universal creation.Lord Shiva appeared in the form of linga in front of Brahma and Vishnu on this day.By observing fast on this day and praying Lord Shiva, you can get benefits that one gets after one year of rigorous prayer.Legend says, Shiva once said that whoever worships him and Parvati's statue on this day will be very dearer to him.



Importance

Both Men and Women observe the fast of Shivaratri with immense faith, married women observe the fast for the well being of their family and unmarried girls observe fast for a good husband like Lord Shiva, he is considered as an ideal husband.


Lingam Symbol – True meaning


There has been significant misinterpretation on Lingam symbol by westerner's, that even Merriam -Webster  dictionary defines it as a stylized phallic symbol. This is not only a serious mistake, but also a grave blunder.Linga actually means a “mark” in Sanskrit, more accurately, a differentiating mark.. It is certainly not the sex-mark.


Lingam represents the beginningless and endless, symbolizing the infinite nature of Shiva.


The Shivalingam denotes the primeval energy of the Creator. The Shivalingam is also a representation of the infinite Cosmic Column of fire, whose origins, Vishnu and Bhrama were unable to trace. Shivalingams in several temples are swayambus, or that which appeared on their own. On the other hand, there are temples where the Shivalingam is carved out of stone and installed.The upper portion of Shivalingam may be of various shapes,cylindrical,elliptical,umberalla shaped.Images may also be rarely carved on a Shivalingam.  



Wishing all a happy, pious Mahashivarathiri !!!

Women & Beauty

 
 Next to Technology ranks Beauty & Weight Loss as the buzz word for 21st century.  In olden days, women with bigger hips where considered as  more attractive and beautiful ,it was a representation of fertility and healthy sign for bearing child.Medieval European paintings portrayed beautiful women as over weight category.Modern era has brought slim women as more attractive.High fashion models have the highest status among female models for their skinny physique & their uncanny resemblance to those of adolescent boys .My opinion is the fact that these aesthetic preference is the product of gay fashion designers, who are responsible for the typical skinniness of high fashion models


Beauty is famously in the eye of the beholder.To understand what it takes to be beautiful,beautiful means being physically appealing to men, thats a clear indicator of commodifying women .Men prefer women with full lips, sculpted chin and large eyes. Some lucky women have big eyes; others just seem to, thanks to the clever application of eyeshadow. As the classic commercial says, "Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline." (If it increases her options, who cares which it is?) Men, across cultures, are drawn to a woman with an hourglass figure. At one end of the spectrum are woman "Love me as I am! jargon and the other extreme are women who go around resembling available painted dolls.

Beauty of woman lies in the factor of how confident we can project ourself, let the weight loss focus be for the purpose of being healthy and fit rather than achieving hour class figure.

Theory of Karma

 Indian religions stress lot of importance on Karma, this is the "law of cause and effect". Concept of karma has a strong conscious impact on attitude and emotions. Many western culture have notions similar to Karma, "What goes around comes around".

The process of birth and death is occurring ages after ages but the life we go through in each stage is more or less the same but how many times have we questioned ourselves the purpose and meaning of life. There is always need and want.Needs are less but wants are more.when wants become more,the approach to attain the want is a matter of conscious decision .

We all know that our stay in earth comes with an expiry date but have we realized that fact.If and if we had realized it then there would be no greed, no corruption and no war.Imagine a planet with conscious minded individuals with virtue of righteousness ...how beautiful will that world be..:)

 A story here would illustrate this point:

A young student is sent overseas to study certain skills. This overseas country has a currency control. No money may be brought in or taken out of the country. However the student may earn a living to feed himself and pay for his tuition fees. The scholarship is for ten years. So he took a part time job while studying the skills that he was sent to learn. This part time job was so successful that in two years he made it a full time job. Then he acquired a flat, a car with credit cards. He joined prestigious clubs of that country, and he made his lucrative job his career, forgetting what he went there for. The skills that he went to learn were compassion, wisdom and unconditional love. All these were totally forgotten. So by the end of ten years at which time he has to go home, he failed miserably to acquire these skills. Neither could he bring home all his wealth because the foreign country does not allow any expatriation of its currency, and also his home country does not use money. The currency in his home is karma and merit. This is exactly what happens to all of us, except that the length of overseas study is between 50 to 80 years and not ten. And the country of our foreign study is planet earth. Our home is the spirit world.

Truth is here...can we go higher in learning the science of Wisdom..... Think think think!!!

"ALL IS WELL" - Power of Positive Thinking

Yesterday,I watched the tamil flick "Nanban" remake of Hindi Blockbuster "3 idiots",  the film looked so fresh as a remake version too. Jus loved it. How beautiful is the term " All is well". There are times, when we feel down,when expectation doesnt coincide with reality.During the tough times, its easy to quit but staying and proving one's worth is the real deal.It's always necessary for our mind to boost with the thought of "Everything happens for good"

As a school student, I was below average in academics.According to my maths teacher, i never existed at the first place and so was my maths scores too.When i moved to college, my teachers and fellow classmates said i am intelligent, that was totally a new word to me. The very word created interest to study and read books.Purpose of education shifted its focus from scores to attaining knowledge. Books can be a very beautiful companion,it does change our thought process.Life is the  best teacher,it always gives us choice to create ourselves. Searching and learning is where the miracle of life begins.

I have always taken life as the way it comes, guided by strong intuition. Till date, have no regrets about the way i am handling life ...it is important to set goal but if you are not sure of goal , dont bother ,there is and there will always be unexplored creative zone for one to explore and mark the niche

The very heaven and hell is not an external phenomena,its the way we see life. Religion makes us to believe that committing sin is the root cause for our birth   .True religion should teach us positive thinking ,it shouldnt degrade our very existence.Every situation that one goes through in life should make us a strong person and not as a weak one.When there is no struggle, there is no strength

Let however the time be...good or not so good kind. When something leaves you then it simply means there is something better awaiting for you . Till then just say "ALL IS WELL" :)

Art of Parenting

Recent incident took place in Chennai shook the entire state. 15 yr old boy stabbed his teacher in class during school hours.This is not a new incident, these kinds of juvenile crimes happens across the world.One has to realize that the new generation are very sensitive and overly aggressive.Thanks to media and adult sites for leading them to negative exposure.

The journey of Parenthood is not a smooth one,in modern society especially among nuclear families both the husband and wife have to slog for providing comforts for their children,in offering them best education and this scenario is applicable for single parent too.Spouses have no time for each other,work pressure and family demands and responsibilities are increased day by day. Parents set unlimited expectation from their children,right from scoring high grades to be a super duper in all extra curricular activities Children are going through lot of stress,we force them to mature at a younger age.From the concept of we to I interest has increased among individuals in the family.  

Present day kids learn the aggressive behavior right from age 4, all these video games are one way of initiating the aggressive behavior .Gone are those days,when children had the opportunity to hear moral stories and code of  behavior in the class. Schools have seized from a respectful educational institution  to money making industry.Each school is competing with other school to prove their worth through their academic scores which in turn could bring better input in increase in no.of seats for the following academic year.Parents & Teachers  have missed the importance of teaching human values to students."What we sow is what we reap".

Every child is influenced majorly by their peer group.It doesnt matter whether the kid has wonderful parents or teachers.Its the very choice of friends influence the mind of young adults.Adolescent problems has to kept as one among the curriculum, it is definitely the duty of society to nourish younger minds the art of empathy and compassion.All of us know, adolescence is a frustrating phase for young adults as there is so much of physical and psychological changes that every teen goes through....new friends,new habits ...they dont have time to think what is right and what is wrong, their only goal is to be accepted and be popular among their peer group.Parents should have friendly approach towards their teen kids,only if and if they can consider their parents as friends,they would be able to open up and discuss their thoughts to family members but by and large adults dont have an open mind in accepting their children faults.

It is essential to have practical parenting courses and classes to be conducted for Parents and Teachers in bringing up better adults to the society.

Science behind Love

Valentine's day is round the corner.People are intoxicated with thoughts of love & romance .Is love a matter of heart or a matter of mind.Most often,we confuse love with infatuation and lust.This attraction factor is neither a heart nor a matter of mind but a hormonal reaction.Brain becomes illogical in the throes of new romance,literally blind to the shortcomings of the lover .This fevered brain activity runs on hormones and neurochemicals such as dopamine,estrogen,oxytocin and testosterone.

There is some truth to the notion that people can become addicted to love.Romantic partners,especially in the initial phase of six months ,crave the ecstatic feeling of being together and helplessly dependent on each other.Studies of passionate love show this brain state lasts for roughly six to eight months .

During times of physical separation ,a deep longing for the beloved can set in."Absence makes the heart grow fonder".We are used to thinking of this longing as only psychological,but its actually physical.The brain is virtually in a drug - withdrawal state.Mothers often warn their daughters not to get too close with a new boyfriend,and this advice may be wiser than they realize.The act of hugging or cuddling releases the oxytocin in the female brain and its likely to trust the hugger.To bond successfully with a romantic partner,males are thought to need testosterone and vasopressin boosts a male's energy,attention and aggression.When men in love experience the effects of vasopressin,they have laser like focus on their beloved and actively track her in their mind's eyes,even when she isn't present.

Love circuits in men get extra kick when stress levels are high.After an intense physical challenge ,for instance , males will bond quickly with the first willing female they lay eyes on.This may be the reason,military men under stress of war often bring home brides.Women, by contrast,will be able to express affection and desire when she is stress free.This is one main reason, why couple's quarrel  during their middle age.When woman experience betrayal or loss of love ,they also respond differently than men do.When love is lost,abandoned men are three to four times more likely to commit sucide.Women ,by contrast,sink into depression.They crib and cry all the time and withdraw from social activities.Love is absolutely a phenomena of brain, the long term stay is possible only when the partner understand the biological difference and accept each other in totality.

Happy Valentines day :)